Yo I’m MC Karel and I don’t give a shit.
I’m a really bad rapper so just deal with it, man!
Everyday I think about a subject I can rap on,
but mostly I just watch movies of girls with a strap-on.
Bitch, I’m emotionally sick,
that means I’m having problems with talking to cute chicks.
Dude! My self-confidence is hitting new lows,
but that increases a lot when I’m drunk at punk rock shows.
Yeah, I drink a lot of beers,
I chill out in my room and I listen to the Queers.
I’m talking ‘bout the band, not the gay dudes.
But if you are a gay dude then I respect your attitude.

I’ve got my swagger dagger. But I’m not getting better.
I keep fucking up, I suck at rhymes but I won’t stop.
Maybe I’ll just have to listen to the Blitzkrieg Bop.
That’s a Ramones song, released in 1976.
If you don’t like that then go listen to Teenage Kicks.
That’s by the Undertones, released in 1979.
It’s pretty old, but it’s just fine.

Hey, you wanna know more?
I can tell you but I’m pretty sure that you’ll get bored.
Damn! My whole life is super dull
but I can go on and on about the shit of which it’s full.
I still masturbate to pictures in the magazines.
I think that’s weird because there is nothing that I’ve never seen before.
It makes me sad. It makes me mad.
But I’m glad it’s not too bad. Yo.
I hope nobody’s grossed out now.
Come on everybody party down now!
This ain’t a sad song, it ain’t a cat song.
I wish it was but cats don’t belong in rap songs.