Last summer I got this idea that it could be so neat if I started watching iCarly. You see, I saw a clip on TV and I thought "Whoa, what is this? Can I see this in English? Please?" So I downloaded it on my Apple PC and I spent weeks watching it before I went to sleep. And I don't even care about Carly or Fredward, I just kept watching because of Sam Puckett. She got really hot around the end of season 3. And on top of that I really dig her personality, on the show at least, but maybe also how she really is. How she eats and how she sleeps and how she carries ribs around. How she talks and how she walks and how she punches Gibby's mouth. Yeah, that's rad. Cause I like your blonde hair and the way that your stare can make people run and fall of some stairs. I heard you like Spencer but he's not the answer, so maybe consider me as your partner? Forget about Freddie, he's just a petty problem for me. Come on don't be silly! I think that you're awesome and I got really caught on to you, dude, please don't hit me with your food. So Sam Puckett, please be mine. I want you on my screen all the time. I want you in my life cause I think you just might like me.

I don't know if you've heard about chairs but they're everywhere, on the ground floor but also upstairs! It's nice to put your behind on a comfortable kind of sitting utensil, am I right? It's a gift from above to just sit at the stove and maybe make love on a chair or a sofa. I just wanna hold ya, sit on my buttocks and write something for ya, make up a story. Or just reminisce about all of the times that we used to sit on the ground, like we're sick in our heads. Sick of our beds. Sick of standing still. Sick of being ill They help me get rested, I think they're the best and if sitting is wrong, well I should be arrested. Chairs give me hope and chairs give me love and that's all I ever dreamed of. Chairs are cool. So are you. Sofas rule. I bet you knew. And sitting on my butt makes me go "whoo!" But now we're not cavemen anymore. We work hard til 5, then go to the store. Well fuck, this is boring, I wish I was home and could sit on my bottom, that sounds so awesome. Man, I love chairs, they're like everywhere and thank fuck I could afford to buy a pair. That's neat, you know the deal. We all know how it feels to be on top of the world when you're actually just making your butt less cold. I think I'm sold, don't need anything else. I'll just wander the world and sit on stuff until I'm old. It's a neverending story that is happening in real life. If you own a chair, I wanna give you high five. But if you prefer standing, and walking around then I don't know if it's possible for us to hang out.