I wasted 22 euros and I wasted this night, I wasted 21 years but today I'll make it right! I've had 23 chances and I screwed 'em all up. I am a desperate case. I am a genuine fuck up. Go.

Well this is a story all about how my life has stayed the same throughout and everyone I care about is still around, not lost - not found. I wake up every morning and I snooze a couple times. Sometimes I feel hungover and sometimes I feel just fine. I drink some cups of coffee and I try to sort my mind, but that doesn't really work so I just look at cats online. I eat an omelette for lunch and sometimes I add bacon. I go to class at 2 PM and ask “Is this seat taken?”. Nerds are talking all the time. I start to fucking hate them. Better go home quick, and start spaghetti-makin'! Later in the evening I study and I read. It's mostly pretty boring, but it's something that I need to do. It always makes wanna give up school and simply quit, but I can't cause that'll make me feel like complete shit. Then I watch a movie and I try hard not to cry, cause the movie's always cooler than my stupid wasted life. I wish I was productive yeah I wish I could get by. I wish I could accomplish things (I wish that you were mine).

I think cats are cooler than dogs and cooler than groundhogs, cooler than New York thugs. I think cats should not wear socks. Cats play with a box. Cats don't give any fucks. I've had a cat some years ago. He spent his days just hanging low. He was my bro, and I love him a lot (no homo). He did some pretty shitty stuff, but we had a lot of fun. Now he's gone, and I cried but I moved on. Now there's cats on the net, doing things nobody gets. But it's hilarious to watch and send it to your friend. They sneeze and fart at the same time, get scared shitless all the time. I just want them all to be mine - that would be fine. No, cats just wanna chill. They're licensed to kill though cause cats are pretty fucking ill, yo. They go to steal your heart and rip your legs apart. But you can't be hard on those cute little bastards. They make weird noise and have a weird wet nose and when it blows it actually has a hissing voice. Sometimes they're happy. Sometimes they're sad. But they're all fucking rad cause they're all fucking cats.

I don't give a fuck about giving a fuck, there's girls on my cock, from all around the block. They suck, but it sure beats ejaculating into a sock - what the fuck? I don't give a shit about giving a shit, got chicks on my dick, they're making it big and thick, not kidding, it's totally legit! I don't care about caring at all, there's babes on my balls, in the toilet stalls of the high school ball, make it stand up tall, rise up, jizz, fall.

There's Realer Dangers everywhere, in my guts and in my hair. I look like shit, I lost my flair. How'd I even get in here? I'm watching bands that sound the same and they all have the same damn name. They're all called "Murderburgers" or "Maladroit", n'est-ce pas? Suddenly I'm on a bench, unconsciously conscious, what a wreck. There's people laughing, oh my God! Ik zen canard and ik zen kwaad. 3PM - I'm alone at the bar, my bud has left, it broke my heart. 4PM - I'm already a mess, I want "Jordi Ostir" tattooed on my ass. 6PM - I'm getting pretty fucked up. 8PM - I think that I'm in love. 10PM - I'm singing along. Midnight - Do I even know this song? 1AM - Getting bombed with cups. 2AM - I don'tgive any fucks. 3AM - Safely going home, my leg is fucking swollen. Thank God I'm not alone. I look like the guy from Parkway Drive and everyone here is gettin' high fives. There's pictures of me with a couple of wives, who are these girls, never seen 'em before! I'm going home, put my face on the glass. The last thing I see is Lenny's ass. It's pretty gross and not so classy, but hey, we're punx, we're super bad-ass. I destroy all of Innsbruck's property and everything seems stupid to me. I take off my pants, I don't feel right, I got back home maar ik zen kwaad. After that my leg was infected for a week, I went through hell and back, but I lost my receipt. I quit drinking for a while cause I just couldn't stand up straight. But I've picked up the old habit again, I'm afraid. I remember that night as the night everything went black, not like Emperor meant it, and not like Black Flag. It was just a ton of bands and a ton of friends and a ton of Realer Dangers, anda ton of beer cans.

I got you on my mind Let me take you on a ride Of course we'll have to wait in line Very boring but that's fine Everything will be alright cause You're so goddamn kind Overwhelmingly refined and Underrated, and I want you to be mine.

Well you wouldn't know or realize but this night is the best night of my life, got you by my side - everyone else on the other side. I'm psyched, no need to tell you why but it's cause I'm frantically overenthusiast. I love all guys and girls, it's pretty messed up, but I like how I go about it, how I make friends I'm not sexually attracted to, yeah. Except for you, cause you're really hot. I got a soft spot and a hard spot for you, and if I'd choose between you and my bros I'd probably go with the flow and take you to the Zoo, or Planckendael cause you're a real cool gal, and I haven't met someone like you in a real fucking long while. So if smiling at you means anything then maybe you'd know I'm having a bit of a fling and you're involved in it. I'm wondering what you're thinking and if you're thinking of me, and I shake my head - wish I was dead - shoot myself in the head fictionally, cause I still wanna see you sometime. I cringe when I see you talking to guys cause they're not nice and maybe I'm not right, but I really really really wanna give it a try cause you're the love of my life this time. Do you remember when you said that I was different than the rest? And I just leaned back - head smacked - I said "You too." and left it at that - man! What was I thinking? Probably nothing - I was probably just drinking again. And I probably should've said that you mess me up bad. I even made a mixtape that started with that phrase - yes. I got it all figured out - false. I got it all planned out - false. But I'm scared of what can happen if I don't act now. It's never too late, but it's taking me so long to ask you on a date, cause I'm shy, insecure and most of all I'm pretty stupid. And I ain't no Romeo, no, I sure as hell ain't Cupid.

It sucks that all songs about you already exist. I wish that I could write it, I wish that you would like it but my writer's block has turned into a writer's blackout so I'll just shut my mouth and stop thinking about you. I wanna write you a song but it's impossible cause they've all been done by the Unlovables and the Leftovers, get over it, every word you invoke for me had been sung before, has been put down to chords. So I'll just rap and tell you that you're rad, by rhyming really bad and flowing off the beat. I’ll stop eating meat, cause you might think that's cool and being cool is all I really wanna do (for you). I got all these strange thoughts and ideas I never ought to have and you're the reason why I stop to think sometimes and lose my head and never finish sentences and never use a period and "I ain't got no fucking sense", that's what the dude from Teenage Head said. There's some things that you said that I can't seem to forget or get out of my head while I should be studying or reading instead and not going to bed before 2 AM but shit, your words just drive me mad. I don't really get if you are interested, maybe it's me not you but if you could give me a clue that'd be sweet, cause I'm not used to these things anymore, it's been years since I've felt such heat in my heart. Now I've been getting straight A's in Being a Mess, got an advanced degree in Wrecklessness, I confess. I really need to express how I feel about this but it's hard cause you tend to send me straight into distress. Got no idea where I stand or if I'm even at range. I feel strange when I'm around you, it makes my intestines shake, so my body follows everything inside and I start dancing cause I got all these feelings to hide. I doubt you'll like this song cause I don't think it's really good and I don't think you should listen to this, actually, it's just a silly thing I wrote, I probably made it all up, what a shock, my life's still pretty fucked up.

I got a girly thing for romance and a romantic thing for girls. But my genitals are a no-man's land, that's for sure. I got no dry spell, I got a dry fucking curse. It's the worst. “Hello? Can someone help me out in here?” When I met you, you were the coolest person alive. You get a 5/5, and you had such a cool vibe. You look sexy, but I like your personality, you live free, happily, I hope you want to see my D, baby. Cause I want you to please me like that girl in the movies and I want you to treat me like one of those losers. They deliver your pizzas or they fix your sinks. Get a real job! You fucking hicks! And why the hell are they called adult movies, when they're mainly watched by teenage kids, doing it for the kicks, bored of watching chick flicks where they only get to see three seconds of tits? I'm pretty sure I'm in love, I don't get boners anymore. What's the point? I'm unsure, you got me crying in the corner. My heart's laying on the floor, so I'm just hoping that you're bored so you wanna hang out with me, eat pizza, drink some tea. And just sit on the couch, we'd be laughing out loud, you come closer, I come closer. Fuck, I'm pretty nervous now, so I stop looking in your eyes and I start looking at your boobs. They're really pretty, actually, I mean your eyes, not your boobs. Oops. Suddenly we kiss and I feel a bit transparent. I feel something in my pants, well, it's getting quite apparent. I never felt like this before, I think I love you girl. You made my blood move from my heart into my dong. That's a special thing to do, you're the one I cannot lose. You have great powers over me, you move the fluids in my body just by using pure emotion, well that is pretty rad. So now please use your powers to get me in your bed.

There's a million tiny demons that are taking on my brain. They're really small and really weak but somehow they got in, and they make me feel like I'm a dickhead, I am failing, I'm a dingbat. I'm losing everything I had. I'm driving myself mad. Fuck.

Don't think things through and don't get a clue and don't act like you know what you're doing. Don't fuck. Don't smoke. Don't make no jokes, don't laugh. Don't realise you're almost broke. Don't flirt. Don't get ahead in life. Don't dance. Don't take chances, don't take life in your own handses. Don't move on. Don't belong anywhere, anymore, don't be part of something but stay in and be bored. Don't appreciate your peers. Don't overcome your fears. Don't go anywhere but here. Don't switch to a higher gear. Don't tell the truth even though it doesn't matter. Don't follow your dreams,don't think they will not shatter. Don't stay positive and don't believe that anything is how it is. Don't spend time efficiently. Don't use your proficiencies in any useful situations. Don't gather informations. Just watch cartoons all day and hope everything will be okay. Don't fucking count on it.

I think hardcore is about high fives and I hate to stagedive, cause it makes me feel alive. I'd rather stay inside and listen to Last Lights, destroy everything in sight and lay awake at night cause I don't feel alright. These bands all have a message that I'm trying to figure out. “What're they shouting about?” and "Why is everything so loud?". Words keep coming from their mouths about anxiety and doubt and they sing it to the walls, or they sing it to the crowd. I think crucial dudes are super cool, unless they start acting like a fool. Like they hit you in the face in the moshpit, that's not sick, dude, that is fucking stupid. You need to get your head checked, get out all the bad brains. Fuck your PMA and get a new mentality. That would be a good thing cause for now you really suck. So stop acting crucial and listen to some punk rock.

Movie night! I fucking love movie night! Let's all have a movie night! But my friends are all busy and my girlfriend's non-existent so I end up by myself, get chips and beer and watch a movie. Fuck you!

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX was bunk. It started good but it sunk pretty quickly, I lost interest and switched the TV to another channel. I don't care how it unravels, I just wanna see Yugi battle like in the first fucking season, which was awesome as hell, when there still was a reason to wake up at 6 am on a Saturday morning to watch Yugi kick ass, watch Joey progress, watch Tristan & Tea be responsible. And I just love they integrate mythologies and legends and stories from all sorts of global histories, like the Valkyries, and universal frontiers, Egyptians, Japanese, a clash of all communities, yeah. And the second series just taught me what an eggwich is. It's a sandwich with an egg in it, a word I really dig, it's a thing I like to eat, but that's all it really did for me. (I’m sorry.) I mean, just think about it, the first series was epic, all parts were super rad, they kept me from going to bed. Watched episodes til 3 AM, wait for clues and conclusions, was cool to see those dragons, that were Egyptian Gods once, ready to destroy the world if it wasn't for this Yugi-oh, Yugi's alter ego, an ancient pharaoh stuck in an pyramid puzzle, a Millenium item that's pretty fucking powerful he saves the world, they go back home. I just wanna sit in my couch, eat chips with zout, drink a beer or a stout, stop my brain for a hour. I don't wanna be alone, watch Yu-Gi-Oh! on my own anymore. Eggwich.

Hey son, do you know the Digimon? Do you think you could have won against Kabuterimon, or Lillymon? Hey dude, don't you think they look so cute in their little furry suits? Always in a real good mood, eating food. Hey lad, what's the deal with this guy Matt? He & Tai get on so bad. But no one wants to see that, it's just sad. Hey guys, please be nice. Don't poke out eachother's eyes. Kinda sucks you're drifting away on a block of ice, now. Hey man, do they have a game plan? Maybe work together, than beat that evil Devimon wanker. Hey mate, what has happened to TK? His Digimon just saved the day. They thought he died but he was a-okay. I open up my Digiport. Suddenly I'm not so bored. Fuck the world, I'm a Digidestined tonight. I meet all of my Digifriends, travel through the Digilands. For 20 minutes I'm a Digidestined, alright! Hey babe, watch out for that mad ape just try to make a quick escape. He seems to be quite out of shape, and super lame. Hey lass, that guy is just a big mess, tryin' to be Elvis but he can't beat the Digicrests, no stress Hey bro, everything went slo-mo. They're back in the real world. But something's really wrong, yo, let's go! Hey kid, I don't like this one bit. Monsters causing real shit. Myotismon getting kicks out of it. Hey brat, what's up with this cutesy cat? Is she good or is she bad? Oh, it's Kari's Digimon, that's quite rad! Hey gent, they should combine all their strengths cause this guy's going extra lengths to keep them out of his evil plans, fucking hell. Hey guest, they should go a bit faster, defeat all the Dark Masters cause those guys are just annoying bastards. (Fucking bastards.) Geez chick, that Puppetmon is really slick. Machinedramon is fucking big. But they're gonna get their asses kicked, that's sick. Hey bloke, now they're getting really stoked. Piedmon's busy making jokes and Wargreymon is getting smoked, almost. Oh, gee, Spiral Mountain dissappeared. There's still a final enemy, terrifying as can be, pretty scary. Hey bud, now they're really warming up, everyone is at their top. Kicking Apocalymon's buttocks. Hey sis, they just finished business But allegedly there's still this dark force roaming DigiSpace. Fuck this. Hey son, do you know the Digimon? Do you think you could have won against Malomyotismon?

I'm fucking bored, man, let's catch a Snorlax. I got my pokéflute on hand, I'll make him roar, man. I gotta catch 'em all, with all these Poké Balls. I don't use Master Balls, that shit is for posers. I get up, I check up with my mommy in the kitchen. She says she'll take care of my money, that's bitchin'! And I'm late for my date with Professor Oak, fucking shit! I guess I'll take whatever Pokémon I still can get. I got a Squirtle! I'm really fine with that. A few weeks later it's a motherfucking Blastoise, not bad! My nemesis got Bulbasaur, it's still only an Ivysaur. He'll have to train some more, cause I can crush him hardcore. Just like I slayed Brock, and had Misty for breakfast. They're all nice but I had to beat their parties, I'm relentless. I wanna be a master and I wanna be the best gotta catch 'em all, gotta make 'em strong, no way I'm gonna rest. I'm fucking bored, man, let's catch a Ratata. I got a level 4 Pidgey, ready to attack. I gotta catch 'em all, with all these Poké Balls. I don't use Master Balls, that shit is for posers. I'm in Vermillion City, I'm on the S.S. Anne. Just as I walk off the boat, the captain fucking leaves, man. I got no plans, so I walk around town like a lost kid, talking to these strangers, they're all pointing me to the Diglett Cave. That's how I end up back in Pewter City, what the fuck am I doing here, it smells and it's shitty. I just wanna go to Celadon and Lavender Town. Gotta win some badges, gotta make my mother proud. I wanna jump on the train, but I guess I'm not allowed. which sucks, cause I'm going insane from this biking, I try to ride it inside but Professor Oak is spying on me, so I gotta move my tiny little feet. I'm fucking bored, man, let's catch a Tauros. I got rocks and I got bait, this should be flawless. I gotta catch 'em all, with these Safari Balls. I don't use Master Balls, that shit is for posers. I use surf to get away from Fuchsia City. I got the HM3, it's time to sail the seas, yeah! I caught a Lapras, that guy's pretty bad-ass everyone I pass is like "Whoa is that a Lapras? Damn!" I gotta beat Lance, try to get a Volcano Badge, beat Team Rocket once again, try to reach to big man, Giovanni, mafia, fucking had it with these dudes! I just wanna go party with the Elite Four crew! Buy a lot of Revives, still lose a couple times try to make it out alive, the end is in sight. Professor Oak just came, I'm on the wall of fame. I'm back in Pallet Town, what am I gonna do now? I'm fucking bored man, let's go to Johto. I wanna start out with a fucking Totodile, gonna catch 'em all, with all these Poké Balls. I don't use Master Balls, that shit is for posers.

Fancy cars, you can't sell to me! I spend all of my money on celery. Guarantee, there's no stopping me when the plate I see contains a broccoli. Like I told you before: I'm hardcore All the food that I score goes in the vegetable drawer Some people bring soda to your house and share it, but the party don't start til I show up with my carrot! Call Dr. Phil and warn Oprah, I'm gonna eat up all of the okra! I'm notorious, I'm nefarious, [I'm MC Karel and] I eat all your asparagus! You think you're tough, you think you're hard? I'm gonna eat the chard right out your yard. My enemies cower when they feel the power that I gain when I devour a cauliflower! I like vegetables! (I could eat a billion turnips!) [(I love potatoes!)] Let me hear you shout, let me hear you shout! We're gonna get crazy on a Brussels sprout! (You gotta rock that cabbage!) [(Tomatoes are actually a fruit.)]